This Life

Photograph by Arcade Fire

There are moments in life 

I’ll never get enough of 

and that makes me realise 

how blessed I am 

to have those moments 

to call my own; 

to have moments 

I feel grateful for 

and cherish deeply.

I wouldn’t take any other life.

 

By Alice Karayianni

Always Spring

As the World Goes Away by Lights & Motion

The winter sun is coming in through the window, but if you forget about the cold then it doesn't feel like winter any more. Flowers are already in bloom and the days are getting longer. It's time to reinvent one's self, to breathe life into our heart and soul and bones. I always thought of myself as a summer child, but the older I get the more I realise that my favourite month is the month of May.

It’s always Spring
In my heart,
It’s been a while now.

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

The shape of our mutual dream
Unfolds before us
And I cannot wait for it
To take us away.

Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.

By Alice Karayianni

Late Afternoon

What do you go home to? by Explosions in the Sky

It's late afternoon
And we're riding our bikes
In the neighbourhood I've come
To love so much.

How strange
The Spring twilight is;
A crimson horizon
Filled with hopes,
An infinite landscape.

And I think about how magical
Ordinary things can be,
How the best moments
Are the unanticipated ones.

By Alice Karayianni

2022

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

Each of us is given

only so many mornings -

to look around and love

Here's to always being present to the moment and being mindful enough to recognise how to make the most of it.

Happy 2022 to all! ❤

Our Kitchen

Reverie L.68 by Claude Debussy

We are dancing in our kitchen
Late at night.
It's the end of the summer,
And the windows are open.
A soft breeze is coming in
Carrying a faint familiar odor,
Jasmine.
You kiss me softly and
I can't help but laugh,
As I trip over my own feet.
Everything is wonderful.

By Alice Karayianni

My Ruby

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

I couldn't quite understand
What it felt like to grieve,
Until I lost you.

Now I know what it feels like
To have all this love
That you cannot give,
To have all this love

With no place to go.

Instead, it gathers up in
The corner of my eyes;
The lump in my throat;
The heaviness in my chest.

You are the Ruby of my heart
And nothing will ever change that.

Love you infinitely.

22/06/2021

By Alice Karayianni

Falling Star (2021)

Nocturnes 4 by Craig Armstrong

Big city lights,
Like flickering dots
In the distance.

I always associated
The tranquil smell
Of lavender
With this place;
Soft, yet strong.

Tonight I saw
A falling star and,
For once,
I knew exactly
What to wish for.

By Alice Karayianni

Summer Weekend

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

The weekend again;
Salty skin and wet kisses,
Soft sunsets and
The briny scent of the sea
Tickling our noses.
Small pleasures.

By Alice Karayianni

World Nowadays

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

Is this really the world?
Shall I grieve? Shall I hope?
I prefer to sing.

Undoubtedly, this past year has felt like a script taken out of George Orwell's '1984' for many of us. Does two and two make five? Yes, sir.

We live in a system that enables corruption, that rarely exposes it or holds it into account. Access to information is a basic human right and yet so much information is being withheld from the public. There is a lack of transparency and, as such, the public has no power whatsoever. When the public is unaware, the leaders (political or other) are free to do as they please for their own private gain. You cannot challenge someone if you do not have the whole picture.

It is all a vicious cycle; leaders end up gaining too much power out of this and when they have been doing things a certain way for so long it starts to feel normal, not only to them, but to everyone around them, it becomes very difficult to reverse that situation. Even protests and riots are no longer effective and overthrowing leadership simply leads to chaos. Personally, I've grown very wary and, very weary, of politics.

Politics is nothing more than a game of world domination and decent people will always be conformed, or crushed. Decent people are not the team players, but rather the ones who bring about disruption to a perfectly devised plan. Oh, and don't get me started about the Church and its so-called morality.

I'm beginning to realise it's difficult to bring about change in the world and that is what's sad. I will always treat what leaders say with great suspicion and that is not something that will change easily. No matter what though, we must keep hoping that not everything humans lay their hands on develops a corrupt nature by default! If anything, people are becoming all the more awakened.

We must keep hoping.

My Homeland

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

The evening calm,
That pause between day and night
When the breeze takes with it
Every little sound,
When peace prevails
In the light of the 
Silvery moon.

Our minds blank
But our hearts full,
Speechless
But with a gaze
Full of meaning.

Our bodies bound together in comfortable silence -
I have no other homeland but you.

By Alice Karayianni

2021

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

In all chaos
there is a cosmos,
in all disorder
a secret order

~ Carl Jung

2020. What a rollercoaster of a year.

It has been a year of pain, loss and grief, but it has also been a year of positive transformation in so many ways. Now, transformation is not always easy but, if anything, this year has taught us just how resilient we can be. No matter how dark it gets, we will always be able to find the light, we will always find ways to survive the chaos.

2020 was the year in which the world finally slowed down. We may not have achieved unity, as such, but it was definitely the year in which we all came together to fight the unknown. Knowing that we were all in this together inspired hope and courage to keep doing what is best for humanity. It was a reminder that we need to take care of each other. In distancing we actually connected more.

2020 was also the year in which we learned not to take anything for granted. It was the year in which our hearts softened amidst all the pain and fear. We learned to appreciate the beauty of nature and the ones we love a little more; we learned that happiness is found in the little things, in the most profound way. Miracles dwell in the invisible, if we only trust the process.

It's time to let go and trust that change is always good, perhaps not at present, but definitely in the longterm. To embrace the unknown and learn from what we cannot control. To allow that to transform us. It's time to shift and re-assess what is important to us and, in so doing, to make room for all the good that is on the way, even if we don't know exactly what we are waiting for right now. 

As always, remember to keep an open heart and an open mind!

Happy 2021 to all! ❤️

I forget the rest

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open.

Agnes de Mille

2020

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

Accept what is.
Release what was.
Create what must be.

2019 was a year of growth and positive transition for me, in many aspects, and I have been filled with immense gratitude. Life always has a way of showing us that nothing is ever as it seems and this ephemerality is the very beauty of it. This impermanence that can surprise you from one moment to the next, that can turn your world around. Of course, these are two sides of the same coin! But I’ve learned that whatever will be, will be, no matter what, and that the one thing I can do is to just keep giving any given moment my best. At the end of the day, our life is as good as our mindset and it is the energy that we bring into every situation that matters, how we respond to things. We need to keep those vibrations high!

Every day, we are given the opportunity to build on who we are, to become a version which is closer to who we really are, or who we want to become, at least. Every time I felt lost, I was only just getting closer to new realisations, leading me to a better version of myself. We need to let go of whatever weighs us down and needs to be lost, in order to find our truth. After all, we cannot lose what we no longer are and what is truly ours will never leave us. We just need to have the courage to face our life in all its light and its darkness; I always keep reminding myself that it is through the cracks that the light gets in. It has become a personal mantra over the years. It’s through these cracks that we learn to love ourselves a little more, to accept ourselves for who we are and, in turn, to accept others for who they are. It’s through the cracks that we grow.

And this brings me to my last point, letting go of expectations and the pursuit of perfection. We have this impulse of wanting to know how everything will unfold, a need to figure everything out before its time, to be in control. We have this fear that if we are not prepared then something might go wrong and things won’t be as perfect as we imagined them to be. But how many times has life proved to us that it is unpredictable? And how many times have we resisted a moment simply because it did not satisfy our expectations? We should finally start embracing that uncertainty and allow ourselves to linger in the unknown from time to time. When nothing is certain, everything is possible, the landscape is infinite.

For 2020, I hope we learn to slow down and take a step back from all the chaos around us; to surrender to what is rather than what should be. To appreciate the people we love a little more, to love with actions and not just words, to really experience each moment life brings to us and to make the most of the opportunities brought our way. The present moment is all there is. I hope we learn to embrace the imperfect nature of the world around us and, in doing that, become more understanding and compassionate with ourselves as we are, transforming only in ways that bring us closer to our true self. And, in our continuous pursuit of finding meaning and whatever it is that makes our soul expand, I hope we always keep an open heart and an open mind.

Here’s to a year of magic!

Happy 2020 to all :)

Peace of Wild Things

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

~ Wendell Berry

Float Away

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

I've built you a boat 

To be the will that guides you 

I'd be the way, 

I'd be the one that holds you 

Holds you

Under the Same Sky

So long, lonesome by Explosions in the Sky

I’m not very good at making specific plans. Just meet me under the sky somewhere and be alive with me.

~ Victoria Erickson

I’ll take you to my favourite rock.
We’ll get sun-soaked while marvelling at the view;
The vast panorama of endless green,
The crystal clear, turquoise waters in the distance,
The blue, above us, infinite.

You’ll feel differently up there;
Disconnected, yet very connected.
We’ll close our eyes;
The gentle breeze caressing our faces, 
We'll tune into the stillness without and within.

I promise you'll feel the magic...

By Alice Karayianni

2019

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

To be a gentle mover in a swiftly spinning world. To be present. To extract the poetry. To only entertain the real. To listen. To seek the genuine. To stand inside of the stretch, the momentum, the tall discomfort of change, the knowing that you don't need to rush the practice, or ever fake or force a thing. To believe in rhythm and movement. To trust in the river, the song, the stillness, the storm, and the seed.

~ Victoria Erickson

Yet another year is coming to an end and here I am writing yet another 'end of the year' blog post. One thing I’ve realised is that my blog posts have greatly decreased in number over the last couple of years. It’s funny because I’ve had an increasing (desperate) need to express myself and yet the more I wish for words to just flow right out, spill readily on paper, the more stagnant I feel. I’ve been suffering from persistent lack of inspiration and it’s been frustrating!

You see, my head is a very busy place. I feel too much and yet I don’t write enough to make up for it, to balance things out inside. I just can’t. Creating and analysing don’t go together, and I tend to analyse, a lot. And language hasn’t been in my favour recently either, it seems. Eternally faced by a blank page - or screen for that matter. So how can you tame a heart that is bursting with feelings when the voice within you runs out of words? (I’m actually asking, here.)

My continuous struggle over the last years has been to know myself and to be real. REAL. But it’s been quite hard. Because what does it mean to know thyself? It means to be connected to the source of who we really are, to our higher self. That is the only way to live authentically. But it seems that we are all living in this prison we have created over time, limitations we have created in our minds through our experiences in life while growing up, through conditioning. But it is only by going beyond that conditioning that we can find our true essence, that we can be free… 

Knowing thyself entails being true to yourself. It begins when you start loving yourself enough to be open and honest about every single thing. Learning to say ‘no' to whatever doesn’t feel right and starting to let go of whatever no longer serves you. It begins by understanding and making room for who you really are, all your feelings and emotions, both positive and negative. You have to deal with the darkness if you are to break this shell that you’ve created. And don’t worry about being vulnerable in the process, it’s through that crack that the light gets in. 

So be present, be mindful in every single moment because this is the only way to allow your true self to emerge. This is where you free yourself from mental barriers and stop identifying with a false sense of self, it is where you stop being unconscious. I find that we constantly define ourselves by what other people say about us, but what do they really know about us other than what we show them? They are merely projecting their own unconsciousness onto us and mistaking that for who we are. We are all wonderfully complex beings who keep growing and transforming, so stop letting other people’s perceptions of you halt your progress!

Not everyone will understand your journey, but that’s okay, because what is real will always stay either way, I can guarantee that. 

So for 2019, I hope you finally get to travel lighter. I hope you keep remembering to let go and just BE where you are, alive, in the moment and, most importantly, at peace (with yourself). And I hope that, in this everlasting process of finding yourself, you finally find the happiness you long for.

Remember, the only way out is in. 

May this be a year of beautiful transformation :)

Butterfly Effect

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

My brother used to ask the birds to forgive him; that sounds senseless but it is right; for all is like the ocean, all things flow and touch each other; a disturbance in one place is felt at the other end of the world.

The Butterfly Effect. I've always found this theory quite fascinating. How a single action can affect a whole path and, not only yours, but the paths of all other people who are meant to cross your path at some point in their life. It's something that's always on my mind. If I'd done this, how would things be different now? And if I hadn't done that then I wouldn't be where I am now. 

I don't believe in randomness. It makes life pointless. I believe that there is some sort of predetermined fate, a certain course we are each meant to follow, a set of lessons we are meant to learn. A different set for each one of us, depending on our level of consciousness. We don't get to choose the experiences we are handed in life, but we get to choose how to react to them, we get to make our own decisions. This, in turn, determines whether we've learnt our lesson or whether we need a similar experience to happen again in order for us to learn what we have to learn. Isn't this the point of life? To grow and to become better? 

I also don't believe in a single life. Once again, what's the point. What’s the point of the soul even, why nurture it and help it grow if nothing is to come out of it? The soul is what continues on to our next life, it’s what gets reincarnated, and it carries with it all the lessons and experiences gained from our previous lives. We tend not to be aware of that. That’s why we sometimes feel that we’re not all on the same frequency. But that’s fine because we’re all growing somehow, each at our own pace. 

We are all striving for the same thing, even if it’s not apparent to us. So we should accept people as they are; be kind, be compassionate and, most importantly, be loving. And remember, a single positive action can create a positive ripple effect. We are all connected, we are all one. 

The Wilderness

Alone Time by Explosions in the Sky

I carry veins that consistently need nature injections.

I’ve always been a nature girl. I’ve always been drawn to the deep magnetic pull of nature, be it the mystical mountains or the sea. Both overwhelmingly beautiful. Wild landscapes are my thing. This is where I feel most like myself, this is where I keep finding myself. How can something be both grounding yet elevating?

How is it that my mind is most clear when I’m laying on top of my favourite rock - on top of the world? How is it that water - salt water - is so emotionally and physically healing? How is it that forests leave me in awe? How is it that I’m most grounded when walking barefoot on sand? The calming power of the sunset and peach-tinted skies. The soothing energy of the moon, always overlooking.

In nature I feel most protected; in nature I feel most comfortable. In nature I feel whole and one with everything, connected. This is where I make my most genuine connections. I could live in this world of mountains and forests, the sea, forever. Always dreaming, always feeling, loving, always.

We lay on the grass, under the blue sky. Our warm skin touching. We talk endlessly, we soak each other in. 

Lavender

Photo by Alice Karayianni

The first time I slept in his bed 

he asked me if I liked the smell of lavender 

and since then 

everything that calms me has been purple.

~ Alessia di Cesare

My Wonderland

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

I am currently relaxing on the chaise-longue by the pool with my book in hand, but I cannot focus on my book because the view in front of me captivates me, as it always does. The essence of all this nature at my feet is too overwhelming to express, yet I have this need to put it down in words. Perhaps, if I do so, I’ll have a better understanding of why I feel this way when I’m here and I’ll be able to focus on my book, once again. So here goes an attempt to convey these feelings… 

When I am in Drousha, a small village right at the outskirts of the Akamas peninsula in Paphos (Cyprus), I feel as if time stops. It kind of feels like those nostalgic, slow piano tunes you get in movies when the characters are remembering happy moments from the past. Our holiday house is situated upon a hill – 650m above sea level – and has an amazing view of the sea and villages in the distance. At night, this view transforms into a series of bright, flickering dots in the distance, which always somehow mesmerises me. I think it is this contrast of the absolute stillness one gets up here in comparison with the ‘life’ one can imagine down there, when looking from afar. It is always a bit cooler here - hence the name of the village which is said to come from the greek word ‘drosia’ which means ‘cool and fresh’ - because it is situated quite high up. We are thus benefited with the fact that we have a better climate in the summer (Cyprus can get VERY hot) while simultaneously being an 8-minute drive away from the wonderful beaches of Latchi. In the winter, the house is usually immersed within some low-lying cloud so one cannot but guess what lies beyond the pool… Needless to say that the wood we stock up for the fireplace for the duration of our stay only lasts a day. So, as you can see, we’ve got both the mountains and the sea here, what more could one ask for?

As I was saying, everything slows down when I’m here, and I cannot help but enjoy every moment away from the chaos of the city. It is as if I become one with nature, perhaps because where we are, I can hardly hear any external sounds apart from those of birds singing, insects buzzing away and the occasional wind blowing on the trees; I love the rattling sound of leaves. Quoting Eckhart Tolle, ‘we need nature to show us the way home, the way out of the prison of our own minds’ and, in such a setting, one can’t help but transform along with their surroundings. In Drousha it is always the present moment, the here and now. No past, no future. Well, most of the time, but it's so much easier to live in the moment, to just be happy. There is this stillness in nature which fills you up, it calms you down. Negative thoughts are carried away by the occasional breeze, you cannot help but be optimistic. There is something magical in the atmosphere and it's definitely contagious. We are never alone up here. My memories of Drousha are filled with blissful moments of family and friends; old ones and new ones. There is always good company around; people who have grown to share our love for our little Wonderland and the surrounding areas. 

It's amazing what a place can do to you...

2018

Photograph by Alice Karayiannis

I found myself again one morning when I opened the window and smelled the fresh daisies growing in my backyard. I ran outside and danced under the sunshine and nothing had felt that warm in a long time. The rays on my skin and the grass beneath my feet; nothing had been that normal in so long. I found myself in the novels I read and in the country music I played while riding shotgun. I found myself while walking along the beach and witnessing the sun settling down. It was beautiful and when the sun rose the next day, I found myself while trying to tie my curtains up. I made myself some hot tea and I thought to myself, "I'm going to be alright." Because I found myself while pacing down the open roads at midnight. And we laughed under the stars and I remembered that the world is much bigger than I am and there is so much more out there than what we have. I found myself while tracing back my footprints along the sand and listening to the waters rush along the creeks. I found the warmth of living and breathing after all the sorrow. I found the person I was before I realised that bruises weren't just physical, they were emotional too. But I found that person again. I found the person who still believes that life is good.

 ~ Ming D. Li

For 2018, I hope that I keep finding myself in everything I do; I hope that I keep finding what nourishes my soul, what makes me feel alive. Because there are a thousand ways to fill my soul when I am at peace, when I am in the moment. I hope that I'll manage to find balance and stillness amidst the chaos of everyday life so that I'll remember how to be, how to see and, most importantly, how to breathe. Wherever I am, whatever I do, to just let go and be there. 

2017

Photograph by Alice Karayiannis

One day it just clicks. You realise what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realise how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that they’d never recover. And then you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.

As yet another year comes to an end, I can’t help but reflect on the lessons I’ve been learning over the last few years; such a never ending process… I've learned that patience and hard work are rewarded, one way or another, sooner or later. Nothing you give your best to goes in vain. I've learned that things don’t usually turn out the way you planned, or the way you thought they should. After all, you were never in control and you never will be, so you just need to let go and accept what is. The more you try to be in control the more you will lose. I’ve learned that not everything that goes wrong can be fixed or get put back together the way it was before. Because no matter how much you try to put things back together, some things are just meant to stay broken. Then again, I've learned that if something is meant to be fixed, the stength and courage to put it back together will come to you no matter what. I’ve learned that sometimes your happiness will depend on letting go of things that no longer serve you. And it will hurt, but it’s been quite heavy and you need to feel light again. I've also learned that kindness goes a long way; so remember to be kind whenever you can, even when you don't feel like it. I’ve learned that the essential element of wellbeing is peace of mind. And I’ve learned that it's okay to let go of whatever does not give me peace of mind. Because accepting what is is not always easy to achieve and sometimes you need another way out. I’ve learned that people come and go, so invest in people who invest in you. Invest in the people who have always been there and loved you even when you weren't very lovable; people who want to see you happy. Those are the genuine people in your life. Most importantly, I’ve learned that things are real only when you are. So keep it real with the people you invest in, vulnerability is your greatest strength and it simultaneously keeps you grounded. Tear down those walls and just be; be your Self. 

We never cease to learn and our experiences continuously shape who we are. But this process of self-growth is so much more endurable when you’re surrounded by people who love you. People who replenish you and bring you peace. People who care about you and seek to help you grow. There are so many things to be grateful for in every single day and this is just one of them. A simple thank you is never enough, but just know that I feel so blessed to have you!

P.S. A special thank you to Ruby, my dog, for her infinite love, the way she greets me when I come home and the way she looks at me no matter how she's feeling, no matter what is going on in her world, no matter what. If only she could speak...

I Carry Your Heart With Me

Photograph by Alice Karayiannis

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

~ E.E. Cummings

Τι είν' αυτό

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Τι είν’ αυτό που το λένε αγάπη

τι είν’ αυτό, τι είν’αυτό

που κρυφά τις καρδιές οδηγεί

κι όποιος το `νιωσε το νοσταλγεί

Τι είν’ αυτό που το λένε αγάπη

τι είν’ αυτό, τι είν’αυτό

γέλιο, δάκρυ, λιακάδα, βροχή

της ζωής μας και τέλος κι αρχή

(Listen here)

Jasmine

Let Me Back In by Explosions in the Sky

But if I could name this feeling, I'd call it

the road home is longer than it looks.

I'd call it, plane tickets and loose change

are caught in my throat.

I'd call it, screaming skin and my heart

taming its wilderness in you.

~  Alessia Di Cesare

Η ζωή ξέρει

Για όλους εσάς που απόψε κοιμάστε by Παναγιώτης Καλαντζόπουλος

Έτσι κι αλλιώς τα πράματα θα κυλήσουν όπως θέλουν αυτά. 

Η ζωή ξέρει. 

Κι εγώ την εμπιστεύομαι.

Nothing Else

Nothing Else by Archive

And I know clipped wings make uneasy flight

But we've gotta reach

A place where the feast never ends

When the music celebrates

In a time when darkness belongs

To night skies and

Nothing else, no

Nothing else.

Change your heart

Everybody's gotta learn sometime by The Korgis

Change your heart

Look around you

Change your heart

It will astound you

I need your lovin'

Like the sunshine

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Love Poem #137

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy

I will wake you up early

even though I know you like to stay through the credits.

I will leave pennies in your pockets,

postage stamps of superheros

in between the pages of your books,

sugar packets on your kitchen counter.

I will Hansel and Gretel you home.

I talk through movies.

Even ones I have never seen before.

I will love you with too many commas,

but never any asterisks.

There will be more sweat than you are used to.

More skin.More words than are necessary.

My hair in the shower drain,

my smell on your sweaters,

bobby pins all over the window sills.

I make the best sandwiches you’ve ever tasted.

You’ll be in charge of napkins.

I can’t do a pull-up.

But I’m great at excuses.

I count broken umbrellas after every thunderstorm,

and I fall asleep repeating the words thank you.

I will wake you up early

with my heavy heartbeat.

You will say, Can’t we just sleep in, and I will say,

No, trust me. You don’t want to miss a thing.

~ Sarah Kay

You Learn

Corinorhinus by Hans Zimmer

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth…

And you learn and learn…

With every good-bye you learn.

~ Jorge Luis Borges

Remember This

First-Last Snow by Gabriel Yared

Every morning you rise, I want you to remember this, there are amazing things to be a part of, and fight for, and feel, because the world will unlock hundreds of doors when you give this day all the courage, love, and intensity you can.

~ Victoria Erickson

And never lose hope, miracles dwell in the invisible!

Love is all you need

Love is all you need by The Beatles

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love,

Love is all you need.

Happy Thanksgiving ♥

Postcards

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Still now, I send letters into space.

Hoping that some mailman somewhere will track you down 
and recognise you from the descriptions in my poems.

That he will place the stack of them in your hands and tell you

“There is a girl who still writes you. She doesn’t know how not to.”

~ Sarah Kay

That's how the light gets in

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Ring the bells that still can ring 

Forget your perfect offering 

There is a crack, a crack in everything 

That's how the light gets in...

It is a happy thought if we enjoy the truth. There is always something that will have to break. Usually it is our personal pride. A Buddhist thinker said that disappointment is a great way to illumination. Other masters said: "from the broken debris of my heart I will erect an altar to the Lord". 

The idea that there is a staircase of gold and marble, which leads to knowledge is seductive, but seems to me that the idea of something needing to get broken before we can learn anything is a more true idea. It is my experience, maybe you can escape it, but I doubt it. Unless the heart breaks, we will never know anything about love. As long as our objective universe doesn't collapse, we'll never know anything about the world. 

We think that we know the mechanism, but only when it fails we understand how intricate and mysterious is the operation. So, it is true, "there's a crack in everything", all human activity is imperfect and unfinished. Only that way we can have the notion that there's something inside us that can only be located through disillusion, bad luck and defeat. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case. 

~ Leonard Cohen

RIP

Στης μοίρας τον χάρτη

Στης μοίρας τον χάρτη by Δημήτρης Παπαδημητρίου

Ξέρεις τι είναι ο έρωτας;

Το άγριο μπλε της θάλασσας.

Το βαθύ κόκκινο της παπαρούνας.

Το φλύαρο πράσινο του λιβαδιού.

Το μεθυσμένο πορτοκαλί του χειμωνιάτικου ήλιου.

Μόλις σταμάτησε η βροχή… Οι σταγόνες χορεύουν ακόμη στα σύρματα. Ένα δάκρυ κυλάει αργά αργά στο φύλλο του κάκτου. Το ξέρω πια. Ποτέ δεν έπαψα να σ’ αγαπώ.

Από τότε που περιμένω να φανείς οι νύχτες μου γέμισαν φως.

Άπλωνα τα χέρια μου τις νύχτες και μάζευα αστέρια και φτερά από αγριοπερίστερα για να τα κρύβω στο μαξιλάρι σου και να γλυκαίνω τον ύπνο σου.

Θυμάμαι τότε… Κάτω από τα πλατάνια, στην πηγή. Διψούσα και μου ΄φερες στη χούφτα σου κρύο νερό. Όλη μου τη ζωή ξεδίψασε.

Κάθε φορά που πέφτει η βροχή πάνω στο τριαντάφυλλο θα σου στείλω ένα φιλί να κρύβεις τ’ όνειρό σου.

Πότε θα ‘ρθει αυτή η μέρα, που θα βρεθούμε μαζί. Οι δυο μας. Μόνοι μας. Θα μεθύσουμε και θα βγούμε να ζωγραφίσουμε καρδιές στις λεωφόρους. Θα τρέχουμε ξυπόλυτοι, θα βουτάμε στα ποτάμια, θα σκορπάμε φιλιά, θα φωνάζουμε ζήτωωω!

Δεν είναι πια η ζωή μου μια πορεία στην έρημο. Ξαφνικά η έρημος γέμισε κόκκινα τριαντάφυλλα. Ξαφνικά οι μέρες μου γέμισαν ήλιο. Ξαφνικά οι νύχτες μου γέμισαν δίδυμα φεγγάρια. Για κοίτα, φίλε μου πώς γυρίζει ο τροχός.

Σημασία έχει ποια χέρια θα σ’ αγκαλιάσουν και θα κάνουν το δέρμα σου να δακρύσει. Ποιο στόμα θα τσακίσει το φλοιό του μυαλού σου και θα σε τινάξει χωρίς ανάσα στ’ αστέρια.

Έκλεινα την ψυχή μου στα κοχύλια και στα χάριζα, για να μαθαίνεις τα τραγούδια της θάλασσας.

Μάζευα τη δροσιά απ’ τ’ αγριολούλουδα, την αυγή, για να δροσίζω τα χείλια σου.

~ Αλκυόνη Παπαδάκη

Και κάπου εκεί ήταν που σταμάτησα

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Προσπαθούσα συνεχώς να καταλάβω τους άλλους. Να προσπαθήσω να μπω έστω για λίγο στον τρόπο σκέψης τους. Είδα πως υπήρχαν πολλά σκοτάδια κρυμμένα. Πολλές καχυποψίες. Πολλά δήθεν σ'αγαπώ και χαμόγελα ψεύτικα. Νόμιζα πως μπορώ να αλλάξω καταστάσεις μα τις έβλεπα να αλλάζουν εμένα. Και κάπου εκεί ήταν που σταμάτησα. Μου είχα υποσχεθεί να δίνω μόνο εκεί που με ρωτάνε για να πάρουν. Και να παίρνω μονάχα απ'οτιδήποτε φέρνει θετική ενέργεια γύρω μου. Και τότε ησύχασα. Ευχαρίστησα ό,τι μου πρόσφεραν και τους καληνύχτισα απ'τη ζωή μου. 

~ Γιάννης Πολίτης

All Is Good

I've always been the type that worries about everything; from the trivialities of the daily routine to (actual) serious issues which do need a bit of worrying about. I've been more of a worrier than a warrior but I've slowly been converting myself to the latter. I tend to overanalyse to the point of exhaustion; I tend to look at the details and not the big picture. I worry about the future, I even worry about the present. What's in the past has been left in the past. I guess I am a little bit overconscientious?

I’m also a bit of an emotional type. I wasn’t always this way and I’m not quite sure when it started, but I guess I can be a little bit too sensitive. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I kind of absorb other people’s moods, mostly those of the people I care about. If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. Sometimes I get attached to people and things, but I’m learning to let go. Of course, I do like my independence from time to time. Sometimes I’m a bit of a moving contradiction but I’ve been trying to find balance. 

I tend to be guarded with people I don’t know well, but I’m learning to be more open. I’m learning to always be authentic, even if that means being vulnerable. Easier said than done but I always crave true connections with people and those can only be achieved through vulnerability. I’ve learnt that the people who are meant to stay in your life will do so no matter what… That being said, I’ve also learnt to distance myself from the toxic people in my life. 

Sometimes I judge myself too harshly, but it's only because I do have an idea of the kind of person I would like to be. I’m too in tune with my emotions; I’m quite the indecisive type in general, but I (usually) know what makes me happy and what makes me sad, I know how I feel and what it is I need. I know when I’m in the wrong, simply because I feel it, but I don’t always have the strength to do what is right. I’m trying to fix that too. 

A few years back I felt quite scared and insecure about the future; I felt that I had to have everything figured out and I felt lost. But now, I’ve learnt to trust the process. I’ve been trying to make the most of everything I do and the most of the people in my life. I’ve learnt that new experiences only come out of breached comfort zones and that this is the only way to keep going forward. The truth is that, no matter what or how I am, I do believe in myself and I know that I’ll be alright in the end. I have an idea of the kind of person I would like to be and I have an idea of what I would like to do with my life and that’s good enough for now. No one ever has anything fully figured out and that's absolutely fine. Life is sweet :)

She finally reached a place of knowing she’d be okay, and that is the biggest part of the battle, believing that you are meant for the good more than the bad. 

Never Get Lost

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Can you hear the sounds of the departing?
Can you hear them fading out?
Maybe I want not to want anymore
And never get, never get, never get lost.
...
In the dust that never settles
I found my home.

Falling Star

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Three years after having written the post below, I came across another falling star. I'm sure I must have come across other falling stars over the last three years (I tend to gaze at the night sky a lot) but this time I really did see it. Three years later, I remembered the post I'd written back then. I can say that it pretty much sums up every action and every feeling. Well, apart from the fact that we do have internet at home now, so there's no need for me to go seeking for Wi-fi connection from the neighbours; always cautious not to be taken for some kind of psycho wanderer lingering outside people's homes...

So I was staring at my phone’s screen in this pitch black road of ours here in Drousha, trying to get some hint of Wi-fi connection from the neighbourhood while also looking up at the sky at intervals. I’ve always liked gazing at the stars, who doesn’t? Lying under the star-sprinkled sky and talking about life, or just lying silently, always in the company of loved ones. The sky is different here; the stars shine bright and there are millions of them, you can even trace the Milky Way if you look closely… Well, the layer of city pollution definitely disappears up here!

There it was; I looked up and saw a falling star. Must have been the first time I saw one so clearly, a second later and I would have missed it… They say that you have to wish upon a falling star; leave it for later and the Universe won’t grant it… So I did make a wish! But you know how we never know how to phrase things correctly when we’re in a hurry, in that chaos of the moment, always wondering afterwards whether what we said was understandable, or correct even, and whether we should have phrased it in a different manner. What if we’ve missed a word and get something different to what we wanted? After all, they do also say to be careful what you wish for.

It’s funny how in that brief moment you suddenly know what you’ve been hoping for all along. Consciously, or subconsciously, you’ve been wanting something and that something has suddenly surfaced. It’s like having to make a choice and tossing a coin to help you choose. In that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know, and the problem has been settled for you regardless of the side on which the coin lands.

If you could wish for something right now, just one wish, what would it be? If you were faced with two choices, which would you choose? It’s not always as hard as we think to realise what we truly want, the difficulty is in actually going after it, I guess.

Original blog post: Falling Star

Something Incommunicable

I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones.

~ Franz Kafka

Ever feel this way? No matter what you do, no matter how much you talk or write about things, you always get the feeling that something has been left undone, something has been left unsaid; something you just cannot seem to be able to explain, but which weighs you down from time to time.  It's quite an unsettling feeling; you don't quite know what it is that you want to express but you definitely feel it there. It runs in your bones, it makes you feel frustrated; you keep seeking to find more ways to express that feeling, but nothing really does it. It drains you. Perhaps there is something you ought to be doing but have yet to figure out what it is; perhaps you need to look deeper inside. Who knows...  hopefully you'll find the remedy, hopefully you'll figure it out soon.

Be the blanket for my bones

Be the place that I call home

Express, express, express

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.

~ Bianca Sparacino

Moving Forward

It's been a fast (yet long) 4 years at St Andrews and I can now finally (and happily) say that I have completed my BSc in Computer Science at the University of St Andrews. It's the end of an era, the beginning of a new one, a turning-point. 

On the 21st of May we had what's called a 'Blue Moon'. Perfect timing; a blue moon signifies change and this is exactly what I want and what I've been needing, mostly on a personal level. 

A blue moon is powerful and it is signalling that it is time for us to take control and take the power back from areas of our lives that have been roaming free and taking us down a road that lead to nowhere.

It is an energetic peak which brings about a thirst for adventure, a need to get out of our comfort zone. It is a need to let go of the old and embrace what is to come. It is a time to become reflective and to find truth within us so that we can finally find balance. It is a time of positive change!

Lately I've been feeling this need for change; I'm tired of the old, I'm tired of stagnant situations and relationships that get me nowhere. I'm tired of empty words. I need action, I want to be surrounded by people who help me to keep growing, help me find good balance and peace within, people who are genuine and true. I'm done with words which are not backed up with actions, people who are selfish and self-conscious and who allow their ego to get the best of them. I'm not perfect myself but I don't need people in my life who bring out the worst in me. 

With time, I find myself realising all the more what is good for me and what just isn't. I know what feels right and what just doesn't. What is meant to be, will be; whatever is not meant to be just won't! We should stop getting stuck in old habits. We should make room for new situations, new relationships, new opportunities. 

This new phase has been inspiring me to embrace change in general and I can't help but always feel positive about what life has in store for me :)

With your soul, now you see it; the landscape is infinite.

Being There

Photo by Alice Karayiannis

Something that I've been coming to realise over and over again is that we all live in our own little world most of the time. It's difficult to always keep this in mind when interacting with people and it's so easy to get carried away and affected by your relationships (especially if you're quite the emotional type). We all see things differently; each of us has a different perspective of how things are or how things should be. Everyone has their own problems to worry about, they are preoccupied with their own thoughts and ideas, their own busy schedules. If an action of theirs hurts you it probably has nothing to do with you, so don't take it personally. Unless we realise this, we won't be able to keep our relationships healthy.

But there comes another thing I've had in mind for some time. Of course we all live in a reality of our own, but when we really care we can always go that extra mile to step into the shoes of a loved one. I do distinguish between these kinds of relationships and can obviously say that the most important people in my life are the ones who have been there through the hard times, no matter what. It's easy being there for the good times, but it takes effort to be there for someone when they're going through difficult phases. That's when we step out of our own little world. And I'm not talking about the casual 'being there' kind of thing, I mean BEING THERE. Checking in on them as often as you can (i.e. daily, at least), helping them overcome any issues or problems or worries, always remembering to show them that you care. The truth is that when you've had such people in your life, it's difficult to feel emotionally connected to people who don't do the same and who have never seen these sides of you. 

I've just been feeling really blessed and grateful for these relationships. Without you, I would have struggled to reach where I am now. I just wanted to thank you for that :)