2019

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

To be a gentle mover in a swiftly spinning world. To be present. To extract the poetry. To only entertain the real. To listen. To seek the genuine. To stand inside of the stretch, the momentum, the tall discomfort of change, the knowing that you don't need to rush the practice, or ever fake or force a thing. To believe in rhythm and movement. To trust in the river, the song, the stillness, the storm, and the seed.

~ Victoria Erickson

Yet another year is coming to an end and here I am writing yet another 'end of the year' blog post. One thing I’ve realised is that my blog posts have greatly decreased in number over the last couple of years. It’s funny because I’ve had an increasing (desperate) need to express myself and yet the more I wish for words to just flow right out, spill readily on paper, the more stagnant I feel. I’ve been suffering from persistent lack of inspiration and it’s been frustrating!

You see, my head is a very busy place. I feel too much and yet I don’t write enough to make up for it, to balance things out inside. I just can’t. Creating and analysing don’t go together, and I tend to analyse, a lot. And language hasn’t been in my favour recently either, it seems. Eternally faced by a blank page - or screen for that matter. So how can you tame a heart that is bursting with feelings when the voice within you runs out of words? (I’m actually asking, here.)

My continuous struggle over the last years has been to know myself and to be real. REAL. But it’s been quite hard. Because what does it mean to know thyself? It means to be connected to the source of who we really are, to our higher self. That is the only way to live authentically. But it seems that we are all living in this prison we have created over time, limitations we have created in our minds through our experiences in life while growing up, through conditioning. But it is only by going beyond that conditioning that we can find our true essence, that we can be free… 

Knowing thyself entails being true to yourself. It begins when you start loving yourself enough to be open and honest about every single thing. Learning to say ‘no' to whatever doesn’t feel right and starting to let go of whatever no longer serves you. It begins by understanding and making room for who you really are, all your feelings and emotions, both positive and negative. You have to deal with the darkness if you are to break this shell that you’ve created. And don’t worry about being vulnerable in the process, it’s through that crack that the light gets in. 

So be present, be mindful in every single moment because this is the only way to allow your true self to emerge. This is where you free yourself from mental barriers and stop identifying with a false sense of self, it is where you stop being unconscious. I find that we constantly define ourselves by what other people say about us, but what do they really know about us other than what we show them? They are merely projecting their own unconsciousness onto us and mistaking that for who we are. We are all wonderfully complex beings who keep growing and transforming, so stop letting other people’s perceptions of you halt your progress!

Not everyone will understand your journey, but that’s okay, because what is real will always stay either way, I can guarantee that. 

So for 2019, I hope you finally get to travel lighter. I hope you keep remembering to let go and just BE where you are, alive, in the moment and, most importantly, at peace (with yourself). And I hope that, in this everlasting process of finding yourself, you finally find the happiness you long for.

Remember, the only way out is in. 

May this be a year of beautiful transformation :)

Butterfly Effect

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

My brother used to ask the birds to forgive him; that sounds senseless but it is right; for all is like the ocean, all things flow and touch each other; a disturbance in one place is felt at the other end of the world.

The Butterfly Effect. I've always found this theory quite fascinating. How a single action can affect a whole path and, not only yours, but the paths of all other people who are meant to cross your path at some point in their life. It's something that's always on my mind. If I'd done this, how would things be different now? And if I hadn't done that then I wouldn't be where I am now. 

I don't believe in randomness. It makes life pointless. I believe that there is some sort of predetermined fate, a certain course we are each meant to follow, a set of lessons we are meant to learn. A different set for each one of us, depending on our level of consciousness. We don't get to choose the experiences we are handed in life, but we get to choose how to react to them, we get to make our own decisions. This, in turn, determines whether we've learnt our lesson or whether we need a similar experience to happen again in order for us to learn what we have to learn. Isn't this the point of life? To grow and to become better? 

I also don't believe in a single life. Once again, what's the point. What’s the point of the soul even, why nurture it and help it grow if nothing is to come out of it? The soul is what continues on to our next life, it’s what gets reincarnated, and it carries with it all the lessons and experiences gained from our previous lives. We tend not to be aware of that. That’s why we sometimes feel that we’re not all on the same frequency. But that’s fine because we’re all growing somehow, each at our own pace. 

We are all striving for the same thing, even if it’s not apparent to us. So we should accept people as they are; be kind, be compassionate and, most importantly, be loving. And remember, a single positive action can create a positive ripple effect. We are all connected, we are all one. 

The Wilderness

Alone Time by Explosions in the Sky

I carry veins that consistently need nature injections.

I’ve always been a nature girl. I’ve always been drawn to the deep magnetic pull of nature, be it the mystical mountains or the sea. Both overwhelmingly beautiful. Wild landscapes are my thing. This is where I feel most like myself, this is where I keep finding myself. How can something be both grounding yet elevating?

How is it that my mind is most clear when I’m laying on top of my favourite rock - on top of the world? How is it that water - salt water - is so emotionally and physically healing? How is it that forests leave me in awe? How is it that I’m most grounded when walking barefoot on sand? The calming power of the sunset and peach-tinted skies. The soothing energy of the moon, always overlooking.

In nature I feel most protected; in nature I feel most comfortable. In nature I feel whole and one with everything, connected. This is where I make my most genuine connections. I could live in this world of mountains and forests, the sea, forever. Always dreaming, always feeling, loving, always.

We lay on the grass, under the blue sky. Our warm skin touching. We talk endlessly, we soak each other in. 

Lavender

Photo by Alice Karayianni

The first time I slept in his bed 

he asked me if I liked the smell of lavender 

and since then 

everything that calms me has been purple.

~ Alessia di Cesare

My Wonderland

Photograph by Alice Karayianni

I am currently relaxing on the chaise-longue by the pool with my book in hand, but I cannot focus on my book because the view in front of me captivates me, as it always does. The essence of all this nature at my feet is too overwhelming to express, yet I have this need to put it down in words. Perhaps, if I do so, I’ll have a better understanding of why I feel this way when I’m here and I’ll be able to focus on my book, once again. So here goes an attempt to convey these feelings… 

When I am in Drousha, a small village right at the outskirts of the Akamas peninsula in Paphos (Cyprus), I feel as if time stops. It kind of feels like those nostalgic, slow piano tunes you get in movies when the characters are remembering happy moments from the past. Our holiday house is situated upon a hill – 650m above sea level – and has an amazing view of the sea and villages in the distance. At night, this view transforms into a series of bright, flickering dots in the distance, which always somehow mesmerises me. I think it is this contrast of the absolute stillness one gets up here in comparison with the ‘life’ one can imagine down there, when looking from afar. It is always a bit cooler here - hence the name of the village which is said to come from the greek word ‘drosia’ which means ‘cool and fresh’ - because it is situated quite high up. We are thus benefited with the fact that we have a better climate in the summer (Cyprus can get VERY hot) while simultaneously being an 8-minute drive away from the wonderful beaches of Latchi. In the winter, the house is usually immersed within some low-lying cloud so one cannot but guess what lies beyond the pool… Needless to say that the wood we stock up for the fireplace for the duration of our stay only lasts a day. So, as you can see, we’ve got both the mountains and the sea here, what more could one ask for?

As I was saying, everything slows down when I’m here, and I cannot help but enjoy every moment away from the chaos of the city. It is as if I become one with nature, perhaps because where we are, I can hardly hear any external sounds apart from those of birds singing, insects buzzing away and the occasional wind blowing on the trees; I love the rattling sound of leaves. Quoting Eckhart Tolle, ‘we need nature to show us the way home, the way out of the prison of our own minds’ and, in such a setting, one can’t help but transform along with their surroundings. In Drousha it is always the present moment, the here and now. No past, no future. Well, most of the time, but it's so much easier to live in the moment, to just be happy. There is this stillness in nature which fills you up, it calms you down. Negative thoughts are carried away by the occasional breeze, you cannot help but be optimistic. There is something magical in the atmosphere and it's definitely contagious. We are never alone up here. My memories of Drousha are filled with blissful moments of family and friends; old ones and new ones. There is always good company around; people who have grown to share our love for our little Wonderland and the surrounding areas. 

It's amazing what a place can do to you...

2018

Photograph by Alice Karayiannis

I found myself again one morning when I opened the window and smelled the fresh daisies growing in my backyard. I ran outside and danced under the sunshine and nothing had felt that warm in a long time. The rays on my skin and the grass beneath my feet; nothing had been that normal in so long. I found myself in the novels I read and in the country music I played while riding shotgun. I found myself while walking along the beach and witnessing the sun settling down. It was beautiful and when the sun rose the next day, I found myself while trying to tie my curtains up. I made myself some hot tea and I thought to myself, "I'm going to be alright." Because I found myself while pacing down the open roads at midnight. And we laughed under the stars and I remembered that the world is much bigger than I am and there is so much more out there than what we have. I found myself while tracing back my footprints along the sand and listening to the waters rush along the creeks. I found the warmth of living and breathing after all the sorrow. I found the person I was before I realised that bruises weren't just physical, they were emotional too. But I found that person again. I found the person who still believes that life is good.

 ~ Ming D. Li

For 2018, I hope that I keep finding myself in everything I do; I hope that I keep finding what nourishes my soul, what makes me feel alive. Because there are a thousand ways to fill my soul when I am at peace, when I am in the moment. I hope that I'll manage to find balance and stillness amidst the chaos of everyday life so that I'll remember how to be, how to see and, most importantly, how to breathe. Wherever I am, whatever I do, to just let go and be there.