"I am on a journey... With my work, my explorations, and a few sad stories. I travel with a suitcase full of outrageous blessings. I am on a quest for truth, beauty, and quiet joy. I am an artist, a writer, an explorer."
Every morning you rise, I want you to remember this, there are amazing things to be a part of, and fight for, and feel, because the world will unlock hundreds of doors when you give this day all the courage, love, and intensity you can.
~ Victoria Erickson
And never lose hope, miracles dwell in the invisible!
It is a happy thought if we enjoy the truth. There is always something that will have to break. Usually it is our personal pride. A Buddhist thinker said that disappointment is a great way to illumination. Other masters said: "from the broken debris of my heart I will erect an altar to the Lord".
The idea that there is a staircase of gold and marble, which leads to knowledge is seductive, but seems to me that the idea of something needing to get broken before we can learn anything is a more true idea. It is my experience, maybe you can escape it, but I doubt it. Unless the heart breaks, we will never know anything about love. As long as our objective universe doesn't collapse, we'll never know anything about the world.
We think that we know the mechanism, but only when it fails we understand how intricate and mysterious is the operation. So, it is true, "there's a crack in everything", all human activity is imperfect and unfinished. Only that way we can have the notion that there's something inside us that can only be located through disillusion, bad luck and defeat. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case.
Μόλις σταμάτησε η βροχή… Οι σταγόνες χορεύουν ακόμη στα σύρματα. Ένα δάκρυ κυλάει αργά αργά στο φύλλο του κάκτου. Το ξέρω πια. Ποτέ δεν έπαψα να σ’ αγαπώ.
Από τότε που περιμένω να φανείς οι νύχτες μου γέμισαν φως.
Άπλωνα τα χέρια μου τις νύχτες και μάζευα αστέρια και φτερά από αγριοπερίστερα για να τα κρύβω στο μαξιλάρι σου και να γλυκαίνω τον ύπνο σου.
Θυμάμαι τότε… Κάτω από τα πλατάνια, στην πηγή. Διψούσα και μου ΄φερες στη χούφτα σου κρύο νερό. Όλη μου τη ζωή ξεδίψασε.
Κάθε φορά που πέφτει η βροχή πάνω στο τριαντάφυλλο θα σου στείλω ένα φιλί να κρύβεις τ’ όνειρό σου.
Πότε θα ‘ρθει αυτή η μέρα, που θα βρεθούμε μαζί. Οι δυο μας. Μόνοι μας. Θα μεθύσουμε και θα βγούμε να ζωγραφίσουμε καρδιές στις λεωφόρους. Θα τρέχουμε ξυπόλυτοι, θα βουτάμε στα ποτάμια, θα σκορπάμε φιλιά, θα φωνάζουμε ζήτωωω!
Δεν είναι πια η ζωή μου μια πορεία στην έρημο. Ξαφνικά η έρημος γέμισε κόκκινα τριαντάφυλλα. Ξαφνικά οι μέρες μου γέμισαν ήλιο. Ξαφνικά οι νύχτες μου γέμισαν δίδυμα φεγγάρια. Για κοίτα, φίλε μου πώς γυρίζει ο τροχός.
Σημασία έχει ποια χέρια θα σ’ αγκαλιάσουν και θα κάνουν το δέρμα σου να δακρύσει. Ποιο στόμα θα τσακίσει το φλοιό του μυαλού σου και θα σε τινάξει χωρίς ανάσα στ’ αστέρια.
Έκλεινα την ψυχή μου στα κοχύλια και στα χάριζα, για να μαθαίνεις τα τραγούδια της θάλασσας.
Μάζευα τη δροσιά απ’ τ’ αγριολούλουδα, την αυγή, για να δροσίζω τα χείλια σου.
Προσπαθούσα συνεχώς να καταλάβω τους άλλους. Να προσπαθήσω να μπω έστω για λίγο στον τρόπο σκέψης τους. Είδα πως υπήρχαν πολλά σκοτάδια κρυμμένα. Πολλές καχυποψίες. Πολλά δήθεν σ'αγαπώ και χαμόγελα ψεύτικα. Νόμιζα πως μπορώ να αλλάξω καταστάσεις μα τις έβλεπα να αλλάζουν εμένα. Και κάπου εκεί ήταν που σταμάτησα. Μου είχα υποσχεθεί να δίνω μόνο εκεί που με ρωτάνε για να πάρουν. Και να παίρνω μονάχα απ'οτιδήποτε φέρνει θετική ενέργεια γύρω μου. Και τότε ησύχασα. Ευχαρίστησα ό,τι μου πρόσφεραν και τους καληνύχτισα απ'τη ζωή μου.
I've always been the type that worries about everything; from the trivialities of the daily routine to (actual) serious issues which do need a bit of worrying about. I've been more of a worrier than a warrior but I've slowly been converting myself to the latter. I tend to overanalyse to the point of exhaustion; I tend to look at the details and not the big picture. I worry about the future, I even worry about the present. What's in the past has been left in the past. I guess I am a little bit overconscientious?
I’m also a bit of an emotional type. I wasn’t always this way and I’m not quite sure when it started, but I guess I can be a little bit too sensitive. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I kind of absorb other people’s moods, mostly those of the people I care about. If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. Sometimes I get attached to people and things, but I’m learning to let go. Of course, I do like my independence from time to time. Sometimes I’m a bit of a moving contradiction but I’ve been trying to find balance.
I tend to be guarded with people I don’t know well, but I’m learning to be more open. I’m learning to always be authentic, even if that means being vulnerable. Easier said than done but I always crave true connections with people and those can only be achieved through vulnerability. I’ve learnt that the people who are meant to stay in your life will do so no matter what… That being said, I’ve also learnt to distance myself from the toxic people in my life.
Sometimes I judge myself too harshly, but it's only because I do have an idea of the kind of person I would like to be. I’m too in tune with my emotions; I’m quite the indecisive type in general, but I (usually) know what makes me happy and what makes me sad, I know how I feel and what it is I need. I know when I’m in the wrong, simply because I feel it, but I don’t always have the strength to do what is right. I’m trying to fix that too.
A few years back I felt quite scared and insecure about the future; I felt that I had to have everything figured out and I felt lost. But now, I’ve learnt to trust the process. I’ve been trying to make the most of everything I do and the most of the people in my life. I’ve learnt that new experiences only come out of breached comfort zones and that this is the only way to keep going forward. The truth is that, no matter what or how I am, I do believe in myself and I know that I’ll be alright in the end. I have an idea of the kind of person I would like to be and I have an idea of what I would like to do with my life and that’s good enough for now. No one ever has anything fully figured out and that's absolutely fine. Life is sweet :)
She finally reached a place of knowing she’d be okay, and that is the biggest part of the battle, believing that you are meant for the good more than the bad.
Photo by Alice Karayiannis Can you hear the sounds of the departing? Can you hear them fading out? Maybe I want not to want anymore And never get, never get, never get lost.
... In the dust that never settles I found my home.
